Oh I searched the world...

"I just don't belong and there's no place on earth that will feel like my home"

"Oh I searched the world for that feeling of peace, but I've got no solution, I feel no release"

"Someday I know I'll taste the death that is sweet, for Your own on the cross took out all of the sting" 

"Maybe the point is I'm not on my own and to try by myself is to claim this as home"

"

That's when it hit me, that I'm not yet home, Oh Lord I am ready let Your Kingdom come" 

"If I find in myself desires which nothing in this can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that i was made for another world" C.S. Lewis

Kept awake last night by random feelings of homesickness (they strike when least expected). I am so excited to one day stop my wanderings and truly be Home.

"But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ" Philippians 3:20

Pictures from Pinterest, lyrics by Sarah Sparks

Make God's Name Great

           This is going to be a short post for two reasons; I have a half an hour before I have to board my flight out of Cleveland to Los Angeles (don't ask, some of the cheapest routes are some of the longest!) and I have a prevailing case of writer's blog that persists in sticking around. The only reason I'm posting at all is to touch base with my followers and whoever else might be reading, and to ask for prayer over the next month.

         I won't be able to post for the rest of this month (which is nothing that new anyway! I never post as often as I should!) as I will be overseas on my trip. Yes the time has come, the day has arrived for the  trip of a lifetime, which is also going to be one of the most challenging things I have ever done. I am freaking out!

        I so want this trip to be about glorifying God. This is not about me or what I can accomplish, or the friends I can make. Yes I want to learn and grow as a believer and I want to come back changed from it, but this trip like anything in my life is about making God's name great. I am just a tool in that. That was always my purpose in life, and while from my perspective the difference I am making in this mission is small and minuscule, God chose me for it. Isn't mind boggling that He thinks to include us at all?!

         So this is my request from all of you; please pray that in whatever small thing I may be doing; God's name will be made great.
       

The Peace of God

             Hi all. As you know last weekend was Easter and I have an amazing Easter story to tell. As I mentioned before in my last post I am going on a trip this summer. As I mentioned before, I can't tell you where I'm going but it's big and exciting and scary all at the same time. In preparation for this trip I've had to do quite a bit of fundraising and up until this point I hadn't been doing so well. People have been incredibly generous and giving, but it hasn't been coming in as fast as our deadlines have. It's been so frustrating knowing I've been missing deadlines, and being behind my teammates ( I should mention I will be on a team).

            Last Friday one of my supervisors informed me that I would have to have all my funds (I had still to raise $1200) in by the Monday after Easter, or I wouldn't be able to go. I couldn't believe it! What was going on? I had felt so strongly that God wanted me on this trip. He had been directing me, opening doors for me, and now this?  How was I supposed to raise $1200 in one weekend? I looked at my supervisor with what I hope was a calm, serene, and indifferent stare, but I was really screaming inside. He just smiled at me and assured me that he wasn't worried so I shouldn't be either.  God would provide because God was in this. Crazy man! Of course I was worried!

          I started off my weekend wondering how I was going to cope this summer, having to change my plans, start afresh, adjust my thinking towards not going on this trip that I had prepared for all semester. My friends assured me and said they were praying for me, I sent out letters to my supporters, and my family asking for their prayers, I was praying too. Really though, I don't know if I truly believed God would come through. In my mind this was God shutting the door. I had to brace myself for Him to put a halt to it all.  

         It's funny though, I felt closer to God over this weekend then I have in a long awhile. That kind of happens when you're literally helpless on your knees before Him, knowing that He is the only one who can change the situation you're in. Also being in such close communion with Him was a factor. I felt like all day Saturday I was stopping to pray, not just about the trip but about other things too. I've always been lax in my prayer life and it was a good reminder of how rewarding prayer can be.

          I was talking to my Mom later this week and she reminded me that trusting God is something that I've always struggled with. I had to think about that for a moment because she is so right. When things don't go the way I plan I freak out about it. God's plan's are never in mine. Instead I try and make my plans God's. Trusting God is difficult because it means rendering control over to Him, control that I would much rather have myself. Sometimes I need weekends like this to remind me that I'm not controlling this trip, God is. He will give me the resources, the strength and the ability to do it, it is HE that supplies these things. 

          I come to Sunday to find that $900 had been sent to my account from supporters with promise of more on the way. I literally cried! God had been so good! I went skipping off to find Easter eggs in a hysterical exuberance, my mind on His great provision. Why do I so often doubt the goodness and care of my Lord. He has never failed me before so why would I doubt Him? Yesterday I went to check my account again and I find that my entire bill is paid for with $90 left over! Again why do I doubt my God? Why did I think that $1200 dollars was such a stretch for the one who hung the stars? Turns out I'm the crazy one!

         I came across this verse the other day which really tied all this together for me;

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Phillipians 4:6-7)  

          I've come across this verse before and I always think about the first half of the verse which talks about not worrying and instead coming to God with our prayers and concerns. But I started to wonder about the latter half where it talks about the peace of God. What does that mean the "peace of God"? In Christian circles we talk about peace as this feeling that comes over us when making hard decisions "I had peace about it". But what if the peace of God means something more? The next sentence talks about this peace guarding our hearts and minds in Christ. I've been learning lately that for the Christian, the gospel means more than just salvation, but it the foundation for every change, growth and experience within our lives and walk. The peace of God is the assurance of our position and our standing with God. It is the gospel. That is why it is so important to pray, and to trust God with out requests; because it keeps us from doubting our salvation, and who we are in Christ. When God answers our prayers it should cause us to mediate on the gospel. That's what Easter is all about right!

I'll be gone when tomorrow morning comes...

          First things first, I want to thank everyone who commented on my last post. I was so encouraged by your kind words. And that goes for those who commented on my Mom's facebook page too.        

            Well the day is almost here! The last two days have been stressful; trying to fit ones life into two suitcases is harder than it sounds! But now that packing is over, I have time to actually get excited. I can't believe I'm leaving tomorrow!

          I just wanted to post some pictures of what my family and I have been up to this past week. Just be warned, there are lot of them!! We wanted to spend as much time together as we possibly could, making memories!

           This week was festival week in Tralee. The Rose of Tralee festival is an annual time of stalls, live music, screaming children, and lots of drunk people. Usually it's more popular with the visitors than with the locals, but since this is going to be my last Rose of Tralee for awhile, we decided to join in the festivities.

My sister being a diva! And look! The sun is out! I can't remember the last time that happened!

We wanted to take more photos of these peacock hairbands, but the lady who owned the stall demanded we stop taking pictures, so this is all we got. Funny thing was, we were close to buying a few, but we took our business elsewhere after that!

Laughably bad local metal band!

The best part of the festival...the over priced rides!

Dad and I did battle in the bumper cars...

...I totally won!

We decided to spend a day in Dingle which involves a terrifying drive up Connor Pass.

Some hardcore French bikers

Practicing our mad kung fu skills

My parents are so cute!

Dingle!

We had fun pretending to be happy tourists. 

Don't be alarmed! Craic is the Irish word for fun!

Happy tourists! Don't they look happy?!

The "prehistoric museum" literally consists of the contents of this cabinet!! Only Dingle!!

Mango sorbet at Murphy's. Sooo yummy!

                                On Wensday my sister Abby and I went out for lunch and a movie.  

We went to this restaurant called Mozart's (yes after the composer). I haven't been there in years, but I remember we used to go there all the time, back when the prices were reasonable. Abby thought it would be nice to go there one last time. The food is still great! We had pineapple, cheese, and ham sandwiches, with a very sweet malteaser milkshake, that neither of us could finish.    

We went to see Super 8 after lunch. It was my second time seeing it. If you haven't seen it yet, please, you have to watch it!!! I can't stress this enough!!

We spent Wensday night dinner at Nancy Murphy's house. This woman and her husband have been so influential in my walk with the Lord. I have been so encouraged watching Nancy deal with everything that's happened over this past year. She has been my grandmother when I had none growing up. I will miss seeing her every Sunday.  

After dinner, Sean and I went back down to the rides for a brother-sister date. I'm so proud of the young man he is becoming.

          Phew!! Well thats it! I told you there were a lot of pictures! I hope you had just as much fun looking at them as I did taking them! Have a great weekend!